T.D. Jakes Illustrates That Marriages are Not Easily Broken
Not Easily Broken by T.D. Jakes
T.D. Jakes is a man who knows his audience and writes directly and unapologetically for them. His latest book, Not Easily Broken, is a novel sure to appeal to Promise Keepers, Dobson devotees, and evangelical Christians everywhere.
Would that more books written for that audience could be done with the skill and sensitivity that T.D. Jakes shows.
Not Easily Broken is the story of a marriage. When the book opens, the marriage is 15 years old and Clarisse and Dave aren't exactly in a cozy, comfortable place. Neither, though, are they in a terrible place. Rather, they have failed to nurture their marriage and find themselves increasingly at odds with one another. Clarisse wants Dave to be more ambitious and supportive of her career; Dave wants Clarisse to understand him better and to let him protect her and help her the way he wants to. Dave wants kids; Clarisse is certain it's a trick to destroy her career.
Amidst this uneasy tension, they are in a car accident which leaves Clarisse's leg badly broken. She drops deep into depression and pushes away all of Dave's attempts to help her. He grows increasingly frustrated and then gives up trying. Matters compound when he connects with a single mom, Julie, Clarisse's physical therapist. What starts out as a mentoring relationship with her son grows into an attraction.
Not Easily Broken takes a tender look at a marriage and the difficulties a marriage can have. Jakes takes the readers through detailed sessions with both the physical therapist and the family therapist, accurately capturing the emotions and reservations that the characters feel. He's also able to communicate some important truths about relationships and interdependence without sounding preachy.
Jakes creates a world in which everyone easily and comfortably speaks the language of Christians. Clarisse is described as a high-powered woman obsessed with the world, but she is still prayerful and easily conversant with the language spoken at church even when she is at work.
There is a loving spirit that is infused throughout the book. There is an understanding and sympathy for all of the characters except Clarisse's Mama who is merely a bitter, hateful woman. Granted, Jakes makes it very clear whose attitudes he disapproves of, but he still treats them with a great deal of tenderness.
Outside of the Christian/evangelical culture, there are some things in this book which are difficult to accept. There appears to be almost a complete lack of any male-female platonic relationships. What gets termed as an affair between Dave and Julie is what most people would consider a friendship. Yes, there is an inappropriate attraction between them, but they don't act upon it until long after everyone has labeled it an affair — and even that action was the most mild of transgressions done in a moment of weakness. Prior to that point the only physical contact was a brief hug — of the very type that other characters of the same gender were engaging in without a second thought.
It seems to me that harm was done to the marriage by labeling attendance at a swim meet and one lunch date in a public restaurant as an affair. Yes, they were in a danger zone, but they didn't act upon their impulses and behaved in what most people would consider a responsible, mature fashion.
Clarisse is castigated for not being vulnerable or for not letting Dave protect her. Yet, Dave isn't expected to be equally vulnerable to her. She is blamed for his becoming interested in another woman. Yes, trust and vulnerability is a positive force in a relationship. They're the steps toward healthy interdependence. But this book implies that it is the woman's place to be dependent and the man's place to be protective. This may not be seen as a flaw. My mileage (and thriving marriage) differs.
There are some well-developed characters in this book, most notably Clarisse's assistant who has a strong voice all her own. Many of the other characters, especially the main three, all start to sound the same quite quickly. Perhaps it is a result of them sharing in a subculture's language, but it often blurred their individual characters.
Laying a charge of sexism against this book might have seemed extreme had it not been for the beauty salon scene. Perhaps it was meant to be funny, but it came across as ludicrous and petty. Here was a doctor and patient who would be most likely to greet each other, but instead act petty due to guilt over a non-affair. It was a scene that was simply insulting and offensive.
Those issues aside, the book was refreshing in its underlying optimism and practicality. It didn't assume that all difficulties would be wiped away, but it certainly showed that couples are capable of solving even difficult issues and finding a way to avoid sundering what God has put together.
